It has been a long time since I last wrote here... a lot
have happened since... not many of those I'd like to get into right
now...
I wanted to write something cool, something poetic or
something inspiring because that is just what I do when I am feeling a little
down or sad... It was something I did a lot during my teens... I guess I don't
get sad a lot when I was a kid... Personally, I think kids just don't register
the feeling of being sad... Sure, we cried a lot but it was because we were
hurt… physically hurt... not emotionally... our range of emotion was
limited.... as they aren't fully developed.... our range of feeling weren't as
wide as it is in our 30's that is for sure....
It is never a nice feeling being lied to… especially by
someone you cared about... you know the saying that goes "the person you'd
take a bullet for is behind the trigger..." that's how it felt right now...
I guess what they said is true then... the truth hurts... reality bites...
honesty is a bitter pill to swallow... I think that is why honesty is a rare
virtue in adults... we just can't handle honesty like kids does...
While I know my hearts is the worst kind of weapon in this
kind of situation... ever so awkwardly trying to convince the mind that revenge
is sweet... an eye for an eye... hate begets hate... I just can't bring myself
to seek retribution... for I am weak... I am useless when it comes to getting
mad and turn it into a useful force (I am pretty much useless anyway but this
gets me the most)... I would rather sweep it under and move on... people have a
reason for doing what they did... and I am no different...
Maybe I am overreacting... maybe this is just a test... a
small bump on the road... if i can't handle this how would I handle the true
test of relationship... or maybe this is the sign of things to come.... should
I just stay and let the deceit rages on... it is one thing to realize that you
are being lied to... it is a whole different thing to call it out in the open
and put an end to the deception.
The definition of stupid is to know the truth and to see the
truth but still believing the lies.... and I don't want to be stupid no more....
it's not fun...