It took too much to conjure a conversation... how can this work???

I think I've made a mistake... at least part of me feels that way... I feel it takes too much effort to make it work... I'm a lazy person and I'd rather be in a relationship where it just fit just nicely instead of pushing hard to make it fit.. I don't know... I mean.. if it is worth it, then you'd do everything to make it fit... but sometimes it is just too much of a hassle to make it fit... I know I have been sooo wrong so many times in the past... but I just don't feel it this time around... I don't want to be in a relationship where I feel forced to be in it... it is bad for both physical and mental health... should I give it another chance even when I don't think it'll work ? I rather not waste any of our time trying to fix an impossible equation...

Now, how do I tell her???... I have never initiated a break up before... not because all my relationship before this works well... most of it never got off the ground... and those, which had potential ended prematurely... usually because of my takutness to confess or the moment has just passed ( I waited too long... usually because I was afraid I am misinterpreting the sign)  and it is fruitless to even try... One ended because I was having another go at another girl ( come on when you're 16 and 2 girls showed interest... you'd want both of them.. it'll make you look cool with your peers.. haha.. too much testosterone lah last time... I lost both in the end... so no win there...)

“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”

what's your secret, chuck??

For some reason the weekend seems longer than usual... it usually passes by in a blink of an eye... but the past weekend was a little longer... for some reason time ticks so slowly and i am feeling the pace declining all around me... am i going senile ?? or something is bothering me??... i don't think so... life is kinda peachy... what the hell is wrong with me this weekend...

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Things happened when you are not expecting it to happen... and when it happen, you are almost every time caught unprepared and by the time you realized that it caught you off-guard it is already too late to make amend... I guess that is why they said "Be careful of what you wish for"... huhu... the beauty of life... the surprise, the pain and the hope...

All of the sudden... I am in a situation that I'm totally unprepared for... do I just get on with it... should i stopped it before its too late ?... even i can't answer that... i think I'm just going to get on with it... see how it penned out... if it is a mistake, well another lesson learnt... 

Storm in a teacup

I wish i could have been a better conversationalist...

I wish i could conjured a topic out of thin air... 

I wish i could break the spell you had on me so i could be less of an idiot when I'm with you

The truth is... You scared the hell out of me...

I wish i could make a decision and not think of the consequences...

I wish i could be more impromptu with my call instead of trying to plan every single aspect of it (even though i usually hate to plan... you had that effect on me)

I wish i could make you laugh more often 

The truth is... You makes me try... which is something i don't usually do

Does it pay to wait for the next one to come when there is no guarantee the one you are craving for would come at all???

This close to a mid life crisis ?? hardly worth the wait... might as well make the best out of the present situation and hope the the one turn out to be this one... 

There are no guarantees in life... so what does that mean?? it is OK to gamble??? 

life is confusing...

Stuck between a rock and  a hard place....

nah not really... I'm just making a tempest in a teapot... you know me...any reason to hyped up an ordinary situation... because that how i roll.. hahahaha ok ok merapu lebih2 plak....

Hujung minggu yang amat bosan

While most people looks forward to the weekend... Aku pulak dah tak sangat eksaited dengan weekend... the only good thing about weekend adalah.. aku tak perlu nak bangun awal untuk pergi keje.. but lately.. semua on call duty diorang suh aku buat.. mak aih... almost 1 and a half month aku keje on weekend.. tapi biler claim reject... aper lancau???... nak suruh orang buat keje bayar lah... nak reject2 plak.. macam sial.. bengang sial .. dah ler kena keje.. tak dibayar pulak... inilah nasib keje kuli.. nak marah takut kena buang keje... nak maki boss.. some time boss tak salah..HR yg reject claim... diorang ingat diorang cantik sangat kot suke hati reject2 claim kitorang... well some mmg cun tapi tak justify lah tindakan nak reject claim kami pekerja kuli nie... silap2 ade hari nanti diorang makan kasut... ini lah dier nasib apabila company tempat anda berkerja telah dibeli oleh company yg lebih besar.. dan dengan kadar segera segala bende yg boleh di cut costnyer diorang implimentasi tanpa pikiaq btol2... dulu mase old management.. claim ok ajer... berebut org nak buat on call sebab carik duit lebih sket... new management sucks!!!!

I got myself a smart phone about 2 weeks ago.. and i guess it is true what they said " only smart people can use smart phones" hahahaha...  until now aku masih tak reti guna smart phone.. leceh btol... pakai tepon nokia jugak yg besh.... well... i guess it would takes some time to get use to it... plus kena lah campur org2 yg guna smart phone baru ler tau camner nak guna ye tak... kalo tak mmg tak berkembang ler otak... huhuhu... hajat nak pakai Apple ipood iphone tapi aku menyampah ngan Apple nie... camera sket nyer cekai... tak patut btol.. tak kena ngan harge dier yg super mahal... even the latest  iphone available here pun takde front camera for video call ? harge dah ler 2 ribu lebih... pikir sendiri la.. kalo duit mmg banyak lebih ok ler..  tapi kalo cukup2... tak payah ler...

Latest addiction skang nie??? latest FM game... FM2010 and online shopping... besh ler pulak browse barang2 kat blog and forum.. murah pun murah... kelabu la mater tgk mende2 yg dijual... kalau ler ade duit sumer aku nak.. tapi takde duit.. so tgk ajer la... hehehehe

The sentinels of revenge clad enemies.

Obligatory and disappointment

This is my supposedly new year entry... it is obligatory to do this... oh well not really but everyone is doing it... i guess since it is still January.. this could be counted as the new year post.... plus i only have 1 post for 2010 so far ...

looking back at 2009.... what have i accomplished?... nothing much really... still at the same job.. at the same company... at the same rank... and still hanging out at the same place i sued to frequent back in 2008... so in a simple way to put it... 2009 is..., well the same as 2008... nothing major... the only different from 2008 that i notice is that i actually travel out of my country... even if it is just Singapore... who cares... the last time i was in Singapore is when i was like 8 or 9 years old... that's 20 years ago...

 On my personal life... it is still the same... nothing major again there... now maybe in 2010 something major or at least half major will happen to me... ok how many new people i have met last years... quite a lot and hopefully the numbers double this year.. so my circle of friend will grow even bigger... how may movies i watched last year... maybe 1 or 2... at most 4.. can't really remember since i don't go to the cinema that often... well that is going to change this year... i can assure you that...

I don't think i went to any concert last year... and this year was supposed to start with bang since green day... my favorite band of all time is coming to Singapore.. but heck... my circle of friend is so small that i cant even find 1 friend to come and join me... well to be honest there was a few who was interested but other commitment make it hard for them to come and enjoy green day... now i would have gone alone if they were playing in KL... but my fear of traveling on my own is getting the best of me... damn how i wish i had the courage to just go at it all on my own.. but i just can't... still reeling from the disappointment... I'm sad about this.. that's for sure...