December 6, 2024

What did I just said in the previous post... I am a failure...

di kaki lima, berdiri insan insan yang bermata satu, menjaga pintu yang boleh disewa dengan harga sebuah maruah... dan dikalangan umat yang berpusu mencari erti sebuah kejayaan, berdirinya seorang puteri... dan aku terdengar bisikan hatinya... bisikan tidak sepatutnya sekuat ini bukan?

2014. ** ditulis dibawah pengaruh cannabis hahahahahahaha

 

December 5, 2024

Non performing adult

Well, well, well! Look who decided to stumble back into the blogosphere after what feels like a geological epoch. Yep, it’s me! I can’t believe it’s been years since I last graced this digital space with my ramblings. Not that I forgot about it—oh no! Life just decided to throw a few curveballs my way, and I was busy ducking and dodging like I was in a game of dodgeball. Spoiler alert: I lost.

So, here I am, dusting off the ol' keyboard and logging back in. Thank goodness my password was saved! Because let me tell you, if I had to remember that, I’d still be locked out, contemplating my life choices while staring at a “Forgot Password” screen. Seriously, did I really complain that much in my previous posts? It’s like I was a professional grumbler! Hahaha! I’ll try not to complain as much this time around (good luck with that, right?).

Now, starting again after this long hiatus is like trying to jump back into a cold pool—you know you should do it, but you’re standing at the edge, hesitating like a cat in a bathtub. And no, you won’t be getting any of those ridiculous poems I used to churn out. Younger me thought I was a Shakespearean genius. Another spoiler alert: I was not. I’m less inspired now, and let's be real, my biggest romantic drama these days is deciding whether to swipe right or just eat ice cream alone on the couch. Ah, the joys of aging!

Speaking of aging, let’s talk about how it’s supposed to make you wise. Where’s my wisdom? I’m still trying to figure out how to adult without Googling “How to Adult 101.” Seriously, I’m closer to having a midlife crisis than I’d like to admit. I mean, getting back into blogging? That’s a classic sign of a midlife crisis, right? Next, I’ll be buying a sports car and wearing leather jackets—just kidding! I can barely afford a decent pair of shoes!

So here’s to the struggle of staying young at heart while my body is like, “Hey, remember when you could eat a whole pizza and not regret it? Good times, huh?” Adulting is hard, folks. But I’ll give it my best shot. Who knows? I might actually keep this blog alive (though I was terrible at it before, so don’t hold your breath).

Well, that’s enough rambling for now. Here’s to nothing and the eternal quest to stay young!

Later, ‘gator! 🐊

July 26, 2016

the long road home

I simply running out of ideas...
running out of muses ...
and definitely running out of things to talk about...
when you are bored out of your head
and things generally not moving that much
this hide out of mine
seems barren
empty
devoid of any fun

to be revive or to be deserted for good...
only time will tell...

December 30, 2015

the plan

The plan is to... date a 100 chicks
hahahahaha.. I said this every year only to failed to achieve it
Maybe I should go modest...
date 10 chicks instead...
that looks achievable right ?
Or maybe just 1... this is very achievable...
let's make it more fun..
She cannot be someone I already knew
Must not be a friend of a friend
hahahaha... now that looks hard...
being a social paranoid wont help much...
does online dating counts ?

suggestions are mot welcome

Happy new year...


May 12, 2015

The price of being a wallflower

It has been a long time since I last wrote here... a lot have happened since... not many of those I'd like to get into right now... 

I wanted to write something cool, something poetic or something inspiring because that is just what I do when I am feeling a little down or sad... It was something I did a lot during my teens... I guess I don't get sad a lot when I was a kid... Personally, I think kids just don't register the feeling of being sad... Sure, we cried a lot but it was because we were hurt… physically hurt...  not emotionally... our range of emotion was limited.... as they aren't fully developed.... our range of feeling weren't as wide as it is in our 30's that is for sure....

It is never a nice feeling being lied to… especially by someone you cared about... you know the saying that goes "the person you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger..." that's how it felt right now... I guess what they said is true then... the truth hurts... reality bites... honesty is a bitter pill to swallow... I think that is why honesty is a rare virtue in adults... we just can't handle honesty like kids does...

While I know my hearts is the worst kind of weapon in this kind of situation... ever so awkwardly trying to convince the mind that revenge is sweet... an eye for an eye... hate begets hate... I just can't bring myself to seek retribution... for I am weak... I am useless when it comes to getting mad and turn it into a useful force (I am pretty much useless anyway but this gets me the most)... I would rather sweep it under and move on... people have a reason for doing what they did... and I am no different...

Maybe I am overreacting... maybe this is just a test... a small bump on the road... if i can't handle this how would I handle the true test of relationship... or maybe this is the sign of things to come.... should I just stay and let the deceit rages on... it is one thing to realize that you are being lied to... it is a whole different thing to call it out in the open and put an end to the deception.

The definition of stupid is to know the truth and to see the truth but still believing the lies.... and I don't want to be stupid no more.... it's not fun...