August 26, 2009

Words

Words failed me
at times
when the lump in my throat
is hard to swallow

Words hurt me
sometimes
when it cuts deeper
than any sword could

Words confuses me
all the time
When people are saying things
that they don't meant

Words inspire me
at some point of time
When I could write instead of saying
the things I wanted to say properly

Words compounded me
When it doesn't rhyme
When the words I'm looking for
is missing from my vocabulary

August 23, 2009

Aku ingin bebas

Aper yg aku betul2 nak sekarang nie... ??

Well aku nak tukar kerja... not because of the pressure of moving to a new team but more to the fact that my current company is being taken over by another company.. a big one ... and the fact that they decided to cut cost... saper yang teruk kena.. kami lah pekerja2.. kalau tak sign by November takde kerja.. kalo sign... merana lah hidup kat sini... i hate this..

and aku rindu pergi keje naik LRT... dah bertahun aku kerja di kawasan yg takde stesen LRT.. it's either drive sendiri or naik bas... naik bas pun ok tapi aku tak tahan jam dalam bas.. rela aku jam dalam kete.. at least radio tu aku yang control... boleh dengar stesen radio yang aku suker... tak perlu melayan karenah driver yang selalu pilih stesen radio salah... anyway dah jarang dengar morning crew (tak kire lah stesen aper pun).. layan CD pun besh... putar2 lagu yg sama sampai aku bosan tahap dewa ngan lagu tu... tak pun masuk kan CD yg dia bagi time besday aku tahun lepas... ye lah tak dapat orang.. hadiah yang dier bagi pun jadi lah... at least dier sudi nak bagi aku hadiah... walaupun dier tak sayang aku macam aku sayang dier... takpe lah hati dier... memang hak dier nak bagi kat sesaper pun... aku bukan orangnya... okey nostalgia plak... so anyway... nak tau CD aper dier bagi aku... CD hujan... aku takde la minat sangat ngan hujan nie tapi music diorang nie aku rase agak unik.. lain dari band punk/alternative/indie Malaysia yg lain... plus aku bias... CD nie hadiah dari seorang awek yang aku sangat suker.. so sedap or not aku dengar ajer... dengar sambil berangan2 tangkap cintan ngan dier... hahaha teruk dah aku nie... kronik mungkin?? .. takpe la.. "i'll get over her some other day... but today is not the day" .. tu lah alasan aku hari hari.. ntah biler nak luper pun aku tak tau...

dan aku tak sabar nak hidup sendiri... "mom, i love you but it's time for me to leave the nest...", umur pun dah dekat2 ngan angka 30... sampai bile takmo beli rumah sendiri... lambat nyer la 2010... biler rumah aku siap nanti aku free... i bet i'll be going back to my mom's every weekend.. ye lah.. gua bukan reti masak.. masak air boleh arr... and aku seorang yg lazy.. tak cayer.. tanye mak aku... confirm dier cakap aku malas.. so baju aku saper mau cuci... either balik umah mak or beli washing machine.. hantar dobi is out of the question... dengan gaji aku yang akan menjadi semakin sedikit (not that it is any banyak now) takde la aku nak hantar dobi.. aku nak buat business dobi ade lah... hahaha

tu jer yang aku nak sangat sekarang nie... takde la melampau kan?? simple things... most of all aku rindu tengok gelagat (dan awek/amoi lawa) dalam LRT... last sekali aku naik lrt... mase balik dari Singapore lepas tengok Liverpool hari tu... tapi itu perjalanan balik ke rumah.. aku prefer perjalanan ke KL... aku rase ianya lebih interesting.. ye lah muka org sumer tgh happy.. nak melepak/dating/shopping la kater kan... time balik muke sumer cam cuka... hehehe... yeah aku pun camtu... dah ler terpikir nak kena jalan kaki lagi nak sampai rumah... ye aku memang pemalas...

'cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot, to be something i'm not,
I am a fool out of love 'cause i just cant get enough!

August 22, 2009

the ring of fire

Much had happened to me before the dengue episode i had 2 weeks ago... the trip to Singapore to watch Liverpool... the progress on my on going struggle to actually learn how to lead a team... and that one cute doctor who treated me for my illness... hence the "sayang di jarinya sudah ade sebentuk cincin " crap that i have been parading around especially on yahoo messenger.... but it has gone and to write about it now would be bland... so anyway

Selamat berpuasa all

August 17, 2009

My melodramatic romance

Semalam aku tertewas...
perlukah aku elaborate further...
tak perlu rasanya.. korang boleh buat any assumptions yang korang rasa patut...
aku bukan nyer bintang pun...
kesilapan aku walau sehalus maner pun takkan terpapar di muka hadapan akhbar2 yang dah mmg penuh dengan dusta politik yang ntah hape hape ntah...

semalam aku jatuh di kancah...
buat aper aku berpusing2 berfikir tentang bende yang dah lepas ??

aku rasa hari hari yang mendatang semakin kelam... bukan nyer aku cuba untuk terus pesimis tapi it comes like a second nature to me... mampu ker aku terus berlakon "that i care" sedangkan aku mmg dah hilang minat dengan kerja aku... I'm doing this just to foot the bills... kalau lah aku dah takde komitmen confirm aku berhenti keje... better to received smaller income doing what you like that receiving a larger income doing something you hate... if the world does not revolve around money... you wont catch me doing what I do now... but heck we all know that the world is not going to be the same without money... so with the commitment yang aku dah tanda tangan.. aku terpakse terus kan ngan buat keje nie... cam bagus tapi actually keje hampeh... I rather be out in the jungle cataloging flora and fauna than being in this concrete jungle sitting in front of a laptop trying to find out how to actually do a follow up to a meeting that was help more than 2 weeks ago???... I hate doing administrative stuff... I was not made to lead... never was.. never will... corporate ladder will makes you do things you'll regret....

Ok lah that was my being sick for the last 2 weeks rant....
sungguh tak besh dok kat hospital... my first time plak tuh

so anyway... sorry to bore you people with this
aku seorang yang suka komplain tapi ter pernah pulak nak selesaikan satu masalah tu..
kerana aku seorang procrastinator