Lazy chair blues

Well another weekend's gone without me doing anything worth mentioning... and another one is coming up real soon... It has been ages since I've done anything worthy of my time... I'm getting lazier by the day... am not doing anything I like... most of the time... If I'm not on call... I'd be sleeping or driving around aimlessly trying to figure out what the hell am I supposed to do with the time that I had... I need a new hobby... I got myself an entry level, second hand DSLR camera a few weeks ago (on a cheap from a friend who have lost all interest in taking pictures... he love his fishing activity more hehehe)... was thinking that I can finally start taking pictures as a hobby since I've been fascinated by the activity for quite a while... unfortunately, it have been weeks and the camera still sit in the corner of my room doing nothing at all... I took like 5 pictures on it and that is it... it's not that I don't like taking pictures... but I don't really know how to operate the freaking thing... point and shoot camera is easy... DSLR, not so much... maybe I'm just dumb.. hahahaha... This weekend there's a paintball event going on for my department (or team rather)... would love to capture some of the moment there... hopefully I would be able to operate it... or else, I need to jumpe all my kaki foto balik to learn on how to operate the freaking D40...

The break when pretty bad... I really wasn't expecting it to be that bad... so much for an easy break that I was looking for... I cant fake my feeling... but she was adamant that she was not given enough chances... yeah maybe true... but it had to end... I'm running out of feeling faster than I could think... I hope karma don't come back and bite me in the behind for this... huhuhu... I really do think this is for the better...

I had some issue with my financial... well if you can call it an issue... people need to pay me back my money... giving loans to some people have become a problem because they just don't want to pay me back... mati ler camnie... luckily payday is just around the corner... else I'd be force to ask for a loan from some other people pulak... dammit!!!

".. there's something to be done, something to be found, something goes around,... so I'm waiting for the summer"

Another lesson learn in time

For the first time in my life, I initiated a break up... it would be nice if it does not have to end this way.. but i can't lie to myself anymore... staying together do more harm than good for the both of us... it has to end while we are still trying to learn about each other... if I let it go any further,... the hurt, the pain and the hate is going to get even worse... so I did it.. I was trying to do it as good as it can be... I guess it turn a bit ugly still... what do you expect??... no one likes to get dump... not even a loser like me... (and I've been dumped for more times than I'm willing to admit... OK rejected is more like it :P )

Arguing is not going to make it better... and I'd rather take all the blame than trying to proof that it was never meant to be... call me a liar if you will... I know you would not see it from my point of view... that's OK... who knows I might even regret this later in life... but at this moment I just can't go through a relationship that feels like a rope that is pulling me down...

I wish you well...

and i will never tell

because this is just a farewell

and we are not in hell