Tired of chasing shadows

exhAUSTED

i feel tired of all the sudden... I'm tired of this non stop emotional roller coaster of the past year... I'm tired of chasing a shadow... your shadow... I'm tired of waiting and hoping for things that will never ever happen... I'm tired of my self pity... I'm tired of this drama i created for myself.. I'm tired of it all.. this has got to end... so finally today i have had enough...

something has got to give... i cant go on like this forever... so here i am... giving up the chase... it was a welcome distractions, a beautiful pain and a torrid time that i love... it was all that.. but i have had enough... probably i have matured a bit... or maybe this is just a one off thing... but i used to give in to it until i fall flat on my face... and had to pick myself up again to live on... but at the moment.. i think i know i had to stop here and now... stop the chase... look around and learn my lesson ...

it was worth the while... but now no more...

thank you for the memories...

- my heart is the worst kind of weapon -
- i am avoiding you because I'm afraid that once you know me, you'll think I'm stupid -

updated:- click here

I give in.. a little too much

"Life just sucks, I lost the one
Im giving up
She found someone
Theres plenty more, girls are such a drag"

-- Dysentery gary, blink 182

More question thingy...

Was tagged by Lisa...

so here goes nothing:-

1. When is the last time you ran? Last Friday... During futsal.. kire lari jugak lah tu.
2. Do your jeans have rips, tears and holes in them? i think 1 of my jeans have rip/tear... tak rock la takde koyak
3. What are you dreading right now? My car's driver side windows...
4. Do you celebrate 4/20? huh??
5. When is the last time you saw your significant other? Not relevant
6. Do you get the full eight hours of sleep every night? not even close..except on weekends...
7. What is your favourite current song? satu je ker?.. ok in that case situasi by bunkface
8. If anyone came to your house on your lazy days, what would you do? tutup pintu pretend like takde org kat umah... huhu
9. Who last grabbed your ass? huh? not relevant
10. Have you ever been in your school's band? ade la kot.. more like roadie than a band member
11. Do you own a pair of Converse? Used to. they are expensive and nowadays ade copycat.. so hooray for copycat
12. Did you copy and paste this survey? that would be right on the dot.
13. Do you eat raw cookie dough? dunno... maybe if am THAT hungry...
14. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? haha who haven't??
15. Do you hate it when a radio ruins a song by playing a slow one after it? yup... even hate it more when right after a rock song the play freaking stupid hip hop / r&b songs
16. Do you watch Trading Places? Yeap... sad kan>?? my mom used to watched it regularly.. when the remote is in her hand.. i have no say on what to watch.. unless it is football night... in my home.. Liverpool rules above any other show.
17. Have you ever stayed on line a long time waiting for someone? Can't say that i have not... haha...
18. Are you 'cocky'? i am a pessimist.. so that pretty much answered it
19. Could you live without a computer? a good answer would be yes.. but i don't think i could live without a PC.
20. Do you wear your shoes in the house? Nope
21. At what age did you find out Santa was not real? Santa who???
22. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are there in your home? 3 cellphones, 2 house phones and a bunch of headphones... hahahahaha
23. What do you do when you are sad? watch crappy movies... or play my guitar
24. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? ntah la... call mak sure dier marah .. saper suruh main loteri...
25. Last time you saw your best friend? hm.. who is my best friend... ?
26. Who, or What sleeps with you? My laptop sleeps with me...
27. Are you still in High School? i wish...
28. Is anyone on your bad side now? Not really... although McCain is starting to annoy me even more than before
29. What jewelery are you wearing now? nope no jewelery.. a watch is not a jewelery right?
30. What is the first thing that you do when you get on line? Login to IMs.
31. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? yeah... not all the time... it is hard to really follow a long running tv series... except for LOST.
32. Would you ever wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? nope...
33. Where do you work? Cyberjaya...
34. What are you doing on Friday? Futsal in the evening.. hanging out with the dudes at night.
35. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? I don't really follow these 2 so i wont know lah!
36. Favourite name for a girl? Sarah Michelle
37. Favourite name for a boy? Ntah... ;P
38. Will you keep your own name when you get married? Not relevant
39. When is the last time you left your house? This morning, to go to work.
40. Do you return your cart (I assume trolley)? sometimes i don't.. most of the time yeah i do return it...
41. Do you have a dishwasher? a big NO.
42. What noise do you hear? at the moment?? nothing much the office are pretty quite around this time of the day.. everyone can't wait to get home :P

Little Tree

-Living is easy with eyes closed-

5 Question thingy

Sorry Lisa for taking my time with this... as always i was busy with nothing.. hehehe

so here goes my 5 question thingy:-

* 5 things found in my bag
Laptop
Cigarretes
Lip balm (smoking render my lips dry and i hate it and i ask my sis and some chick friends if it is ok for a dude to wear lip balm.. they said ok.. so i did la)
note book (for scribbling my thoughts)
headphones

* 5 things found in my wallet
Moolah
Driver's license
ATM slips
Pocket calender
Discount cards

* 5 favorite things in my room
My bolster (Can't sleep without it)
The messed up bed
DVD/CD collections
Magazines
My PC

* 5 things I’ve always wanted to do
Visit the african continent
Write a song that i can be proud of
Play for Liverpool FC (or at least watch a Liverpool game at anfield before they move to a new stadium)
Say or do something that would sweep HER off her feet.
Meet an alien or to be able to see the world from outer space.

* 5 things I’m currently into
Futsal/football/liverpool
Cup cakes (thanks to cik gorgeous)
Blog hopping
Engines
Unix/Linux

* 5 people I'm going to tag
Yingze
Azreena
Khal
Sarah
Eve (if u decided to start blogging again... and you know you should