January 6, 2009

Random thoughts!!

These are the things that crossed my mind... collected over a period of 2 days... not all are recorded though... most of it are ramblings rather than thoughts.. but whatever...

the realization that what i did now will have an impact on my future is really disconcerting???

what kind of shift in the movement of a tiny speck of atom could eventually lead to its destruction.. but then again.. all humans are meant to die..

one way or another!!

of discussing about the matter of life and what we are in the grand master plan of the universe... cant help but feel tiny and insignificant... obviously the feeling is mutual... or probably it was just me... where do i fit in this grand scheme??? ... just another random convulsion of atom to form a life not worth living for??
practically??.... could a tiny speck of dust really make a different... in chemistry it could... if you lose an hydrogen atom in H2O... then there will be no water at all...

does .... exist? or it is just another myth??

i guess i could if i wanted to (bad enough)... the problem is... i lose interest after a while... A.D.D.???
who knows... it is just some random electrochemical signals (is it really?? )... in your brain that makes you do a certain things that you do not want to do... is this just another tantrum... throwing a tantrum is good ey?? it releases enough stress to make you forget things.. haha.. trying to find a reason for something that is beyond reason??... i am way beyond redemption... Bob Marley probably thinking the same thing when he wrote the redemption song... again i am just searching for reasons but not answers... i need closure.. but then again who doesn't, right??...

I'm counting sheeps but i'm running out of sheeps... insomnia got no cure!!!

the anatomy of the unspoken words between 2 or more people... that doesn't makes any sense does it... i am not making any sense now, do i??

hope or false hope is after all a hope... expection = 0

It's a sick sad world out there!!


int expectation; // the result of the calculations
char oper_char; // the user-specified operator
int value; // value specified after the operator

int main()
result = 0; // initialize the result

// Loop forever (or till we hit true love or some other condition we're OK with!!!)
while (1) {
cout << "Expectation: " <<>> oper_char;
cin >> value;

if (oper_char = '+') {
expectation += value;
} else {
cout << "You are Hopeless!!! " << oper_char << '\n'; } }
return (0);

** this program will never run because i did not do it properly (copy + paste and edit)

Colin was determined to prove that his theories are correct... a mathematically proven formula to predict how a relationship will end (An Abundance of katherine)...

I am just tired... the flu is bugging me and i woke up on the wrong side of the bed

am i going senile???

it was blown out of proportions

i was there... but never really there... geddit??

cloud nine... why nine??? cloud three seems great too?? goggled it, but i cant understand the article.. should have bought a dictionary then...

chuck and sarah were meant to be together... they should just suck it up and get on with it...

Oasis was really a good band... their stars fades away pretty fast though... "I'm free to be whatever i, whatever i choose..." --> whatever, Christmas album...

I want to walk this planet with...

expiration date... do we really need one???

make believe world vs the reality = imagination runs wild

changes are needed... or so they said

Human nature... what the hell does that mean??

During my MUET Oral test.. i (or rather my group) was/were given a topic.. "human weakness" the four of us were also given a weakness (human weakness) to talk about... at first on our own before we discussed it among ourselves... i was given FOOD as human weakness (the other 3 was MONEY, FAME and POWER)... we have no choice but to agree with it during our individual sessions... gluttony suddenly spring to mind... so i blabbered all about why food is the number 1 human weakness.. eventhough i disagree... during the discussion session... i immediately choose money.. doing my best master yoda impression " money lead to fame and fame lead to power" and in the process involved why britney and Jacko was so successful during their stint at the top of the world and why America was considered a world power... trying my best to make them see that money is the root of all evil... hahaha... most of them said power is the number 1 human weakness... but without money power is nothing i said... well we were supposed to be discussing or debating so everyone has to have an opinion...

... or dead!!!!

I envy people who can write well... especially people who wrote article about life in general

you're wearing me out!!!

i'm sick of being told of what to do!!!

end up with nothing in the end... what an irony

after so many disappointment.. i realize that being miserable is not that bad at all, sometimes...

If you could foresee this project as a failure .. then why keep on forcing me to do it.. leave it be lah... I for one, could see it turning into a disaster... persistence don't always work... it could turn into an annoyance...

You are free of blame my friend... I have only myself to blame

I need space to do my own thinking... do my own thing... be alone with my thoughts.. this blog use to be it... not anymore... there are people i know in real life who now reads it... when they feel like it... and for some reason my critical self shied away... i could move to another space... it is that simple... but i like it here...

the path will not be easy...

I have always wanted to use the nylon strings on my guitars but I'm too dumb to do it

triggers is the word of the day (January 7th 09)

I am unhealthy, unwelcome and unmoved

everyone is entitle to make mistakes... just as long as you learn from it

"mistakes don't mean a thing if you don't regret them"

I named the 3 new kittens at home = bulan, bintang and matahari... i cant keep them all... might have to give them away soon...

January 4, 2009

The Katherine Tragedy

"a saint without a past , a sinner without a future"

"if you don't try you cant fail"

"dozens of reason to lie, only one to tell the truth"

"I have learned to let go, to not hold on so tightly, to open the jar at just the right moment and enjoy the lights"

All quotes are from House M.D. ( i think la)