Worth its weight in gold

It was all worth it...

nosebleed section

I'm just the guy who sits on the nosebleed section, just watching the world and all of it scandalous and wonderful magic unfolded. I wish life would give me a choice but it happened without even consulting me first... we are not given choices for the life we lead... it is all just random action and accident that leads us to this point in time... sure I thought I did make some choices... but in the end it doesn't matter... things happened for one reason or another that renders our choice void... I didn't plan to hurt anyone or being hurt by anyone but it happened anyway... it is part of living... experiencing hurt from the first day we were born... and it doesn't get any easier with experience too... what we could do is... try to make the best out of it...

I was trying not to be bitter about the whole heart brake thingy... it happened for a reason I guess... I'm trying to be understanding... in the hope that it would give me some positive in her eyes... who knows maybe one day I'd stand in good stead in her eyes... it is complicated... it shouldn't linger... but it hard to do when you see her on a weekly basis... we're on good term... well she thinks it is... and I cant hide the fact that I longed for her attention... even if it hurts... why do we keep on playing with fire even though we know we might get burnt... it is because even though it hurts... I rather get burnt than feel nothing... I guess that is why they said that the heart is the strongest muscle a human have... it cant easily over power the brain rational and logical thinking... it could push us to do something that we otherwise would not do... and when it is hurting... there are no other pain can compare to it (well maybe a kick to the jewels can hurt much more but that would only last for like a few minutes while broken heart takes longer to heal)...

OK enough of this crappy mushy posting that I would be doing every now and then... I am after all, a human despite me trying to give this aura of...  I'm heart-brake-proof idiot :)

Enjoy your Monday and remember "girls... they clouds the mind... even the best falls prey" hehehehehe

I feel so... (Box car racer)

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over


I feel so... (box car racer)