She text-ed me and I replied and this dance lasted for a while until I cant take it anymore. So I called her instead, I miss that sweet, mesmerizing and flirty voice of her... I know this is a mistake... but I can't help it... so I let this continue for 2 days and then put a stop to it... I know I don't stand a chance... it was harder the last time we talked... but I guess, the heart wises up a bit this past few months... No time to let this recovering heart to go through the same ordeal again... at least not for the same person... if it was someone else then maybe we could go on the emotion roller coaster again (and ending up stuck in a rut you can't get out of)... hoping for a different ending even when experience told you that it will never going to happen... persistent pain strengthens the heart... just a lie I made up to soften the blows...
When you don't owned much and all that you have is a pittance... life sure takes a different view... much of my adult life I'm able to get stuff that I wanted... not those super fancy ones but enough to lit up the eyes for a while. The events of this year has left me in a lurch and I can't seems to shake it off... I'm in dire need of financial planning... the breakdown of my investment have weaken my finances and I got so many commitment. A lesson learn, it is never a good thing to invest in a friend that you can't bring yourself to scold when he screwed up. Now that hard earned money is washed down the drain with ease and he acted like nothing happens... that's the last time I'm ever going to invest with my high school friends... They might be some of my cool friends... but they sucked at running a business...
It's been raining a lot lately... a sign that the end of the year is coming... it always raining towards the end... it seems like when the judgement day comes... it going to be a rainy day... the mother earth is probably weeping at the sins we've committed... and I ain't no saint... I have my fair share of mistakes... as I have said it before... the rain used to inspired me a lot... I love watching the hours goes by sitting near a window pane watching those tiny droplets of rain on the glass and looking at the darkening horizon wondering what lies beyond... watching people trying to get out of the rain when I wanted to be soaked by the falling inspiration from the sky above... standing perfectly still, letting the rain washes over my sorrow... lifting the gloomy mood and cheering me up... I think it is funny when people associates rainy day with gloomy spirit and sunny day with happy spirit... I live very near the equator... sunny day = staying in doors... the heat is sometime unbearable and I have live in this weather all my life... A European friend of mine comes for a visit last year and she could not get enough of the sun... while I was always trying to find shades from the sun... she would be happily bathe in the sunshine... well she's used to the cold weather of England so a warm sunshine is a gift... for me.. I'd like to see its snowing here in downtown KL... then maybe we all could wear those awesome winter coats... hehehehe
later 'gator
"Isn't it messed up how I'm dying to be him? "
