Setelah hampir give up menunggu, akhirnya Jumaat yang lalu surat yang aku tunggu selama ini pun tiba... nope not the LHDN letter containing some cheques... wont get that until i review my tax declaration (which is going to take a while because i cant find my receipts and most probably will have to forfeit my claims)... it is a letter with the title " VP notice"... freedom awaits me... not that far away now... I can almost taste it.. :)
Took a day off yesterday to settle some issues with the bank and made appointment to pick up the keys from the developer... man, i cant wait to move and live on my own... the sheer boredomness of living on your own with no one to talk to... am looking forward to that very much... managed to get the appointment before the fasting month started... hopefully takde defect la even though from the forum, most of the residents cakap banyak defect... hopefully i'm the lucky few lah... i want to move in as soon as i can... and provided there's internet connection and Astro i'm all set for a new chapter in my life as a loser... and please let there be no ghost... i hate ghost ... huhu
Next Monday is the DR drill so wish me luck... i'm going to need it :)
July 22, 2010
July 12, 2010
Yang kian mati
Ku pejamkan mata hati
dari sepi dan sinaran sang mentari
agar kau dapat mengerti
yang dunia ini tiada simpati
buat mereka yang sering lari
dari terus menempuhi hari
yang penuh dengan onak dan duri
Tiada untung dan juga rugi
asal usaha sepenuh hati
biarlah perit tetap ku gagahi
membakar semangat yang kian mati
Hidup ini hanya sekali
peluang datang dan juga pergi
jangan kau sesekali menghindari
apa yang datang dengan sendiri
jangan sekali kau sesalkan apa yang di ambil kembali
tiada yang selamanya kecuali mati
dari sepi dan sinaran sang mentari
agar kau dapat mengerti
yang dunia ini tiada simpati
buat mereka yang sering lari
dari terus menempuhi hari
yang penuh dengan onak dan duri
Tiada untung dan juga rugi
asal usaha sepenuh hati
biarlah perit tetap ku gagahi
membakar semangat yang kian mati
Hidup ini hanya sekali
peluang datang dan juga pergi
jangan kau sesekali menghindari
apa yang datang dengan sendiri
jangan sekali kau sesalkan apa yang di ambil kembali
tiada yang selamanya kecuali mati
July 5, 2010
nightmares of you
OK, most of the people I know, knows I suffer from this... telephonophobia... so I decided to read about on the net to see if I am actually suffer from it... and guess what... I am suffering from it... it is a part of social anxiety to which I also suffered from... and I thought I was born a healthy baby... who would have guess that a great technology like the telephone could give him/her nightmares...
I used to hate answering the phone when I was younger...but now I can at least answer my own phone... (I'm the last person in my circle of friends to adopt the mobile phone... and that was because I need to have a phone so I can apply for jobs)... but I'm still very hesitant to answer my office phone... every single time it rings it gives me a knot in my stomach... and the knot get even worst when I have to make a call... business or personal... I'd picked up a call any day over making a call to strangers... sometime even calling a friend is hard... to me calling is even harder than receiving a call... at work ,I usually will assign someone else to do the calling... give me the harder technical stuff to work on than making a phone call...
Suffering from social anxiety (and telephonophobia) is crippling and it prevent you from living your life to the fullest... it explain a lot of things in my life... why I rather stay at home than going to party full of strangers... why my home phone is never plugged in (it is always plugged in to the modem so I can hooked up the the internet where I feel most comfortable)... why went I did ask a girl that I like for her phone number but I will never call her at least until we have chatted enough in real life or on the internet to make me comfortable to call her... I'm a weirdo and a loser... and that's explain the lack of romance in my life... but then again, blaming it all on a disorder is as lame of an excuse as it can get... but hell I'm already lame... what different does that makes...
Now I wonder, what other disorder that I might suffer from... I know I'm acrophobic (that why I don't fancy working in a high rise building), claustrophobic (I avoid lift/elevator if I can)... hmm what else... not too sure if I'm hydrophobic... I mean I hate deep water because I cant swim and sharks... I'm not afraid of water itself... not xenophobic that's for sure... I can talk to strangers (guys mostly... girls they scare the hell out of me)... I just hate making calls to strangers... face to face... no problem at all... I'm maybe batrachophobic/bufonophobic because I sooo hate frogs and most of amphibians... I do not hate being alone... though you do need company else you'll go insane... I may not be able to fly... but I like flying... just as long as I don't look down... I'm okay
I used to hate answering the phone when I was younger...but now I can at least answer my own phone... (I'm the last person in my circle of friends to adopt the mobile phone... and that was because I need to have a phone so I can apply for jobs)... but I'm still very hesitant to answer my office phone... every single time it rings it gives me a knot in my stomach... and the knot get even worst when I have to make a call... business or personal... I'd picked up a call any day over making a call to strangers... sometime even calling a friend is hard... to me calling is even harder than receiving a call... at work ,I usually will assign someone else to do the calling... give me the harder technical stuff to work on than making a phone call...
Suffering from social anxiety (and telephonophobia) is crippling and it prevent you from living your life to the fullest... it explain a lot of things in my life... why I rather stay at home than going to party full of strangers... why my home phone is never plugged in (it is always plugged in to the modem so I can hooked up the the internet where I feel most comfortable)... why went I did ask a girl that I like for her phone number but I will never call her at least until we have chatted enough in real life or on the internet to make me comfortable to call her... I'm a weirdo and a loser... and that's explain the lack of romance in my life... but then again, blaming it all on a disorder is as lame of an excuse as it can get... but hell I'm already lame... what different does that makes...
Now I wonder, what other disorder that I might suffer from... I know I'm acrophobic (that why I don't fancy working in a high rise building), claustrophobic (I avoid lift/elevator if I can)... hmm what else... not too sure if I'm hydrophobic... I mean I hate deep water because I cant swim and sharks... I'm not afraid of water itself... not xenophobic that's for sure... I can talk to strangers (guys mostly... girls they scare the hell out of me)... I just hate making calls to strangers... face to face... no problem at all... I'm maybe batrachophobic/bufonophobic because I sooo hate frogs and most of amphibians... I do not hate being alone... though you do need company else you'll go insane... I may not be able to fly... but I like flying... just as long as I don't look down... I'm okay
So anyway, this is supposed to be just about my telephonophobia and my social anxiety as well as my panic attack but comes to think of it... man do I suffers from a lot of disorder... I'm a loser with lots of baggage... no wonder I'm alone... hahahaha
have a great week ahead people...
June 29, 2010
lost in the middle
So, the last of the Asian team in the World Cup has been eliminated... even if I personally think they did played well, created the best chance without having much possession of the ball... and that is saying a lot... in football, it's not how much time you had on the ball that counts... its what you do with it (probably relevant to life as well)... They lacked a natural finisher who would instinctively get into good position to score, drift out-wide to create opportunity for others and hold the ball long enough for the midfield to join in the attack...
Defensively, they are great, which proved once again... size does not matter in football... Paraguay find it hard to break them and on occasion when they did break the defend, the goalkeeper is well position and the quality of the finishing of the Paraguayan forwards was nothing better than the Japanese... although they do have a much better forward-line compared to the Japanese...
In midfield is where Paraguay edged the Japanese... not because of they were better in term of quality but because they hold much of the ball during the match... meaning the Japanese midfield were often left with much chasing to do... Even by playing with a single striker and filling up their midfield, the Japanese midfield were overrun by the Paraguayans...
To go out to a penalty shootout is no shame... penalty kicks are a gamble... sometime you get it sometime you miss... Asian in general do not makes good striker... or at least I have seen none... hopefully things will change for the better... for what we lacks in skills we make up in determination... just ask the Koreans... :)
Defensively, they are great, which proved once again... size does not matter in football... Paraguay find it hard to break them and on occasion when they did break the defend, the goalkeeper is well position and the quality of the finishing of the Paraguayan forwards was nothing better than the Japanese... although they do have a much better forward-line compared to the Japanese...
In midfield is where Paraguay edged the Japanese... not because of they were better in term of quality but because they hold much of the ball during the match... meaning the Japanese midfield were often left with much chasing to do... Even by playing with a single striker and filling up their midfield, the Japanese midfield were overrun by the Paraguayans...
To go out to a penalty shootout is no shame... penalty kicks are a gamble... sometime you get it sometime you miss... Asian in general do not makes good striker... or at least I have seen none... hopefully things will change for the better... for what we lacks in skills we make up in determination... just ask the Koreans... :)
June 28, 2010
Time different = disaster
"Adoi, sakit, cilakak, ampeh, pandainyer lah aku, matilah, memang suwey lah..." Itu lah perkataan yg bergema dalam hati aku biler aku ternampak screen chat Microsoft Office Communicator aku terpapar tepat jam 2:40 waktu Malaysia tadi... " Did you manage to get on the conference call for the IMAC..... " ayat terpampang kat chat windows tu... shit!!! is it today?? adoi celaka lah... otak aku pun dengan sepantas gaban tukar baju perasai buat kire2... beza KL dengan east hub ade lah 12 jam kalau takde daylight saving... minggu lepas aku kire2 kalau pukul 2AM Eastern time on Monday = 2 petang KL on Tuesday ... nampak sangat gua ni bangang... kan ke salah tu... kalau beza 12 jam... 2 petang KL on monday = 2 pagi senin kat east hub US... mangkuk, bodoh bangang... adoi mati lah aku... selepas cakap sorry kat mamat omputih yg tolong ingat kan gua tu (pasal dier kena call pepagi bute ngan customer cakap gua tak join meeting/conference call)... gua pun dail la nombor yg diorang bagi kat email tu... "thank you for using AT&T service... bla bla bla, please enter your conference code follow by the hash or pound key"... gua pun dengan confidencenyer tekan... sekali salah?? eh.. bukan gua patut jadik leader ker... shit... dah ler lambat... sial lah... masukkan ajer lah participant code... boleh plak... huh lega... masuk jer conference terus cakap " maaf ler kawan2 ... saya pening... confuse ngan time different nie... maklum ler, saya memang jarang layan conference call nie..." fuh nasib baik diorang ok... kalo tak mati ler... so dah lebih kurang 45 minit lewat nie... diorang pun terus down kan application... unlock and release sumer DB files then suh gua backup Db nyer directory...
Setakat backup DB file... tak susah kot kater hati gua... hari jumaat lepas gua dah edit satu group nie untuk this specific task lah... sabtu hari tu gua dok tukar2 setting sket... takut ade buat salah ker hari jumaat tu... so gua pun run kan lah itu group... 10 minit gua tunggu tapi takde aper files pun dier backup... ni tak btol nie... cilakak... aku pun stop backup tu... check balik configuration... hmm... mesti tak specify media pool nie... aku nie mmg peluper ker aper... sial sungguh, 2/3 minggu nie asyik luper ajer... aku telan semut banyak sangat ker??? sekali tak leh edit media pool mase backup tgh running lah... sekali lagi adoi!!! another shit!!! tadi seblom gua start backup gua dah kill 3 backup dah... maklum ler tape drives tak cukup... so kena kasi bunuh lah itu backup session yg gua rase kurang important... takkan nak bunuh lagi yang lain... tinggal yg penting2 ajer tuh... pikir punyer pikir sekali aku rase paling baik edit group lain yg dah mmg ade media pool dah setup... nasib baik mmg banyak group lama yg aku tak delete and still boleh guna... dengan tak cool dan confidence aku edit monthly backup nyer group... edit scheduler dier skali and pow... run terus... nasib baik la jalan... kalo failed jugak, aku bunuh diri...
Sambil backup running, mamat ngan minah salleh nie pun berborak ler... small chat... pasal taufan... pasal oil spill, pasal nenek dier ade boyfriend, pasal polis kena tembak.... gua layan dengar ajer lah .. nak join gua maner la tau... oil spill tu gua tau la tapi cam tak kena ajer nak join... so wa dengar lah diorang borak2... lawak sial nenek dier ade boyfriend... way to go granny :)... aku ske plak mamat tu balas " well, we are human after all"
Tapi lepas sejam diorang suh stop itu backup... backup tak cukup laju kater nyer (lebih kurang 30 minit baru 28 GB backed up)... ye lah ade beraper backup tgh running... sumer berebut resource dari master server dan jugak dari network... so diorang kater application tak leh down lelamer... ramai org nak pakai... ok lah ... selamat gua... tu pun baru backup ajer... blom restore... pasal part 2 of this task kena restore kat server lain plak...
Tapi gua rase cam berslaah ajer, eventhough diorang kater kalo start sharp at 2AM eastern time blom tentu dapat abis dalam mase 2 jam... aku kire2 pun... paling awal boleh habis 2 jam 20 minit... tapi itu estimation ajer... tak de guarantee gak... resource kena share aper mau buat .. lain arr sumer backup lain stop buat nie satu ajer then boleh ler laju sket...
Korang rase aku kena buang keje ker??... sure kena lah nie... adoi... mati ler camnie... camner lah gua boleh luper nak check bebetol timing meeting nie... ampeh... bulan depan DR drill plak... mau mampos camnie... oh well i'm not going to be around dfor the DR lah if they decided to fired my ass... hahaha
So hari nie confirm lah last day gua kat sini... been a blast y'all... saper ade keje kosong bak mai... gua dedicated, fast learner and desperate.... hahahahaha.... no seriously... ade keje tak??
Setakat backup DB file... tak susah kot kater hati gua... hari jumaat lepas gua dah edit satu group nie untuk this specific task lah... sabtu hari tu gua dok tukar2 setting sket... takut ade buat salah ker hari jumaat tu... so gua pun run kan lah itu group... 10 minit gua tunggu tapi takde aper files pun dier backup... ni tak btol nie... cilakak... aku pun stop backup tu... check balik configuration... hmm... mesti tak specify media pool nie... aku nie mmg peluper ker aper... sial sungguh, 2/3 minggu nie asyik luper ajer... aku telan semut banyak sangat ker??? sekali tak leh edit media pool mase backup tgh running lah... sekali lagi adoi!!! another shit!!! tadi seblom gua start backup gua dah kill 3 backup dah... maklum ler tape drives tak cukup... so kena kasi bunuh lah itu backup session yg gua rase kurang important... takkan nak bunuh lagi yang lain... tinggal yg penting2 ajer tuh... pikir punyer pikir sekali aku rase paling baik edit group lain yg dah mmg ade media pool dah setup... nasib baik mmg banyak group lama yg aku tak delete and still boleh guna... dengan tak cool dan confidence aku edit monthly backup nyer group... edit scheduler dier skali and pow... run terus... nasib baik la jalan... kalo failed jugak, aku bunuh diri...
Sambil backup running, mamat ngan minah salleh nie pun berborak ler... small chat... pasal taufan... pasal oil spill, pasal nenek dier ade boyfriend, pasal polis kena tembak.... gua layan dengar ajer lah .. nak join gua maner la tau... oil spill tu gua tau la tapi cam tak kena ajer nak join... so wa dengar lah diorang borak2... lawak sial nenek dier ade boyfriend... way to go granny :)... aku ske plak mamat tu balas " well, we are human after all"
Tapi lepas sejam diorang suh stop itu backup... backup tak cukup laju kater nyer (lebih kurang 30 minit baru 28 GB backed up)... ye lah ade beraper backup tgh running... sumer berebut resource dari master server dan jugak dari network... so diorang kater application tak leh down lelamer... ramai org nak pakai... ok lah ... selamat gua... tu pun baru backup ajer... blom restore... pasal part 2 of this task kena restore kat server lain plak...
Tapi gua rase cam berslaah ajer, eventhough diorang kater kalo start sharp at 2AM eastern time blom tentu dapat abis dalam mase 2 jam... aku kire2 pun... paling awal boleh habis 2 jam 20 minit... tapi itu estimation ajer... tak de guarantee gak... resource kena share aper mau buat .. lain arr sumer backup lain stop buat nie satu ajer then boleh ler laju sket...
Korang rase aku kena buang keje ker??... sure kena lah nie... adoi... mati ler camnie... camner lah gua boleh luper nak check bebetol timing meeting nie... ampeh... bulan depan DR drill plak... mau mampos camnie... oh well i'm not going to be around dfor the DR lah if they decided to fired my ass... hahaha
So hari nie confirm lah last day gua kat sini... been a blast y'all... saper ade keje kosong bak mai... gua dedicated, fast learner and desperate.... hahahahaha.... no seriously... ade keje tak??
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