The space between...

I don't hate you anymore!!

I think I finally managed to forgive you... I know that I may not know the whole story... but from where I stand... you are to blame... so I blamed you for everything that is wrong with me... it is easier that way... I'm so used to blaming you that I do not feel any guilt at all sometimes... but good things don't last forever.... and I finally figured it out... I have to let go... I can't move on while still hanging on to this... and I know I cant blame you for every mistakes I made... it is time to forgive you... Hating and blaming someone who is six feet under does not really help anyway... I've gotta deal with my issue on my own... not to put in someone else hands... so here goes...

I do not hate you anymore, father... believe it or not... there were times I wish things were different... somehow things would have been better for us all... life does not always give us what we wanted... that's just how life is... I can't remember what did we talked about the last time we met... all I remember is calling you "dad" seems awkward... even you admitted it yourself... we share a laugh... I remember calling you "dad" because i don't know what else to call you... I will treasure whatever memories I had of you... sorry for blaming you for all my mistakes... thank you for m.a.s.k. toys, the foods, the rides in the mall when I was little.... man I wish you would let me inherit your guitars and violin...

Rest in peace... my prayers are always with you... may we see each other again when my time comes...