September 22, 2014

I am not angry... I am just bitter

“Was I bitter? Absolutely. Hurt? You bet your sweet ass I was hurt. Who doesn't feel a part of their heart break at rejection. You ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come, and then your sadness turns to anger. That's my favorite part. It drives me, feeds me, and makes one hell of a story.”  - Jennifer Salaiz.

The anger oh yes the anger.... I have been there once or twice... the hurt of being rejected is not a nice feeling... It consumed you, drowning you in self pity and self loathing and eventually you come out on the other end bitter and angry... and you use that anger to try to get even... 

Don't come running back to me when things goes awry with him... because I will shower you with lies and deceit so you'll know how it fell to be me... to choke with grief and to spit venom... revenge is sweeter when serve cold... 

Sure we could just pretending that this is all okay... we'll say hi and wave each other when our path crossed... you'll be in his arm while I sit alone across the room... trying hard not to make eye contact... sure, we could pretend... Let the fire burn this room to the ground and see who can pretend the longest... 

While this little angry fit of mine will eventually subside... the scar tissue that now sit in place of the open wound will forever reminded me of the time when we walked in space... A time best forgotten...

And for the love of all thing good.. stop contacting me every time your so called "boyfriend" treat you bad... I am not your go to friend... I never wanted to be just friend... leave me alone... I don't want to be tangled in your web of lies again... Once is enough... I am barely over you and now you're coming back... this vicious cycle needs to end girl... 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

He said he is not ready. I heard a 'no' instead. Funny that he found comfort in me when things go dark but rejected me when I asked for the same.

A friend said men are dogs. I know you are not but he definitely is.

fallen_again said...

Hahahahaha i understood the feeling dear anonymous... Men are.. well for the lack of a better word, dogs.. myself included... I am no better than my own kind... there's a difference in admitting that you are and denying what you are but acting like one.. hahaha
doesn't make sense right ? well life never does... hahahaha