no u-turn ahead!!!

another dead end??
or just a fork in the road ??
maybe I just gives up too early ??
maybe it was never anything to begin with

chances and probability
you should never bet on me
you can never tell this early
if there is actually...

Is it a weakness...
to actually not wanting??
to not be able to bring oneself
to carry out an objective that's no longer relevant

I guess the heart
and not the eyes
is the ultimate judge
to be or not to be
and maybe you and I will not believe in the things we find behind the door...

"Kusimpan katamu terpahat dalam hati
Biarkan masa meniti jalanku
Diriku disini tetap disini
Hingga akhirnya kita jumpa lagi" --> khayalan masa, one buck short

knocked silly!!!

I came, i saw, i perished, i crumbled, broken and shattered into pieces,
i wonder and yet wondering does not make a different
a simple question and a simple gesture
my oh my
this is not chemistry

I think i could if i wanted it bad enough
perception changes and the intention fades into the night
i am weak at standing my ground
hold on, hold on
there's light in every tunnel

slow down, slow down
you are not a pawn
and she may yawn
but all is not gone

for a second i thought i could
now it is obvious she would
i am not in the mold
down with all the gold
and the glitters that comes along

ok this is crap... will post it anyway
and make adjustment to it later....

i am so out of my head now!!!!

so anyway... my old friend from HP send me this
http://www.date-escalade.blogspot.com/

if you are interested in speed dating.. there are 2 seat left... tapi for guys jer... girls dah full

I'd give it a shot if i am not on duty for the stupid on call slave monkey work this weekend....
have a great weekend dudes!!!!!
i know i wont.... damn you on call schedule!!!!!!!

Dry Ice (the machine of time)

letih sungguh nak aku fikirkan... bukan masalah yang besar pun.. tapi aku bosan.. giler bosan... bosan dengan kerja, bosan dengan rutin hidup yang sama sajer hari hari, bosan dengan ketidakmajuan diri aku sendiri mostly. aku cukup bosan tengok macam maner aku hidup sekarang nie... ade sajer yang tak kena... buat buat malas salah, buat buat rajin salah... tak buat aper aper pun salah... angau ker aku???.. rase nyer tak... tak mungkin lah... bukan ade awek pun yang aku tengah tangkap syiok tahap longkang pun... setakat minat kat diana danielle tu biase la... minah tu memang cun pun.. tapi takkan la aku angau kat dier kot... impossible lah... she's way, way beyond reach... haha.. no, no, it's not angau lah.. it's tiredness of the same old shit again and again...

kerja dah start mula nak buat aku pening lebih lebih.. kalau dulu relax jer sebab responsible sikit ajer... now.. sikit - sikit " Abu could you please create a document for ticket handling for the audit??... could you create the on call list for the next 2 months?... we still do not have any KT document for legato team.. Abu any comment?? ... shit!! masa orang lain jadi lead takde pulak korang mintak dier buat all this document?? aper lah... bukan nyer aku marah sangat pun... tapi sekali datang bertubi - tubi... sakit tangan aku menaip.. dah ler aku nie jenis lembab dalam hal - hal menaip nie.... So sumer nie memang contributed to me feeling like crap.... heck even Liverpool thumping Aston villa last weekend did nothing to improve my mood... I need to change... but dont know where to start.

langkah kaki aku hari hari makin tak betul... kejap aku nak ni... then a few minutes later nak buat mende lain lak... maybe i got ADD but never realized it... who knows kan?? maybe i should concentrate on one thing at a time... like shedding a few (well maybe more lah) pounds off the waist area... or simpan duit for later biler aku pindah rumah (huhu tak sabar siot tunggu umah aku siap)... aku suffer from chronic anticipation of nothingness

"pelan pelan kayuh" kata my good friend, En. buaya... haha why En. buaya??.. i guess you guys pun paham aper sebabnyer ketaksuban orang kat sini ngan buaya... no.. not for the skins like in the west.. but as a "kata ganti nama" or something to that effect. hahaha ok aku membebel... tapi ade betul jugak cakap En. buaya nie,... being old and wise .... yang aku tak sabar sabar nak buat all the things yang aku missed before apsal?... i think that has something to do with me being a late bloomer.... oh well... sometime, sambung si buaya lagi... we need to stop and turn around to see where we've gone and remember the things we've been through... a reminder of how we have grown... ok not exactly like that la.. tapi ade lah sounding macam tu... kenkadang aku terfikir pulak.... there are times i feel that i learn more from listening to people rather than learning from my own mistakes... sebab aku bukan nyer handal dalam belajar pun.. SPM pun cukup - cukup makan jer... tapi bile orang cakap, diorang buat otak aku berfungsi... macam bile cikgu ajar baru la aku paham amende sebenarnyer E=mc(square)... hahaha... i need stimuli (ahaks.. rase cam pelik jer words tu... hehe yer yer otak aku biru sket... haha)...

so anyway.. there goes my rat this Monday.... i hate Mondays.. it brings the crazy lazy person in me...

adios!!!!!!

"i have a ring ring in my head, and no one to help me answer it, even when you're close enough to kiss" Jimmy eat world.

the age of princesses, pirate ships and the 7 dwarfs

It's not the past glory or the fact that it was by a big margin... it was the feeling of beating your fiercest rival on a level playing field that counts.... no money in the world could buy you that... we may not get the title.. but hell, it still feels super great to beat United................

I hope for a fair draw tonight... Don't mind meeting United again...

Prediction time... here are what my crytal ball is telling me :-

Man Utd VS Barcelona
Arsenal VS Villareal
Porto VS Liverpool
Chelsea VS Bayern Munich

hahaha ... this will be the best case scenario for English fan since none of the premiership team are facing each other... I really doubt that it will be like this once the draw is over.... whatever it is .. this is going to be one exciting quarter final for quite sometime...

"Justice for the 96"

Law of I have nothing interesting to write about so I copied an email instead...

How True

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

The way it's going to be!!!

So a new chapter opens today... one which I am frankly a bit apprehensive to take on... with my colleague leaving the company.. I am now the primary support for the account that we are handling... frankly speaking I am less worried about the technical stuff... I mean, so far I have yet to really really struggle with the technical side of thing.. not that I am very good it just... so far it has been a routine... things you learns will repeat it self in time.. so if you actually learn and take notes... you are not going to struggle a lot ... plus any new issue that would arise could be deal with "team work".. hahaha cliche, I know... but I hate the responsibility that comes with being the primary person.. everything that has to do with the account need to go through you... the interviews (if we are hiring),.. the ID creation, the knowledge transfer, etc... I prefer to be lead.. not to lead... I'm a bad leader...

but seeing it from another perspective.... this could be the opportunity I have been waiting for... it is a chance to shine (if i do it correctly).. a chance to show what I can actually do.. a chance to shred away my pessimism and actually take the lead into a whole new world called optimism... only I can change who I am... though I love my pessimism... it has so far bought me nothing of value other than my so called "different perspective"... and at 28 I could do with a change in attitude... being positive has it advantages... who knows... it could be a change for the better... instead of hiding from responsibility like I always did if it could be avoided... I could step up and be counted this time around... plus it is a good way to gain more experience both technically and in other field.. I hope lah...

who knows.. if I could be positive and maybe the girl will start to come my way in the truck load.. hahahaha.. dream on abu dream on...

all I know is.. there is no hiding from this one... unless I quit the job.. or ask the management to appoint someone else instead.

So anyway enough on work for now... it's not even a promotion... just added responsibility...

I just booked an apartment a couple of weeks ago... I really need to start living on my own now that I am almost 30... so far, nothing has been signed yet except for the booking papers... the bank has yet to response to my loan application... and the lawyer are still to get in touch with me regarding the sales and purchase agreement... what to do lah??? I have never bought a house before... what is the standard procedure??... do I need to apply for loan myself??... I got the developer to passed my document to their panel banks... I have about 1 week more according to the agreement with the developer to get everything done ( or so I think.. I never really read the fine print anyway... I guess I need to start reading any document that I sign huh??)... life is so much simpler when I just sign off a document and start the payment... now I need to wait for my loan application lah.. wait for the lawyer lah... bikin susah orang saja!!!!!.... dah ler rumah tu lambat lagi siap... I cant wait to move out... next year is going to be very exciting...

I am going on a diet.. tak kira lah... too freaking fat lah now... no wonder girls never gave me a second looks (not that they will give me a second looks if I'm not this fat anyway)... so now kurangkan makan... exercise??? arghhh susah nyer nak buat... kemalasan tahap maksimum... biarlah.. let see if I will actually follow my plan.. which is to eat less... experience tells me it wont happen because eating is GOOD... hahaha

till later dudes!!!!

= " ... then i wonder why she sleeps with my friends" , self-esteem --> the offspring.