Hujung minggu yang amat bosan

While most people looks forward to the weekend... Aku pulak dah tak sangat eksaited dengan weekend... the only good thing about weekend adalah.. aku tak perlu nak bangun awal untuk pergi keje.. but lately.. semua on call duty diorang suh aku buat.. mak aih... almost 1 and a half month aku keje on weekend.. tapi biler claim reject... aper lancau???... nak suruh orang buat keje bayar lah... nak reject2 plak.. macam sial.. bengang sial .. dah ler kena keje.. tak dibayar pulak... inilah nasib keje kuli.. nak marah takut kena buang keje... nak maki boss.. some time boss tak salah..HR yg reject claim... diorang ingat diorang cantik sangat kot suke hati reject2 claim kitorang... well some mmg cun tapi tak justify lah tindakan nak reject claim kami pekerja kuli nie... silap2 ade hari nanti diorang makan kasut... ini lah dier nasib apabila company tempat anda berkerja telah dibeli oleh company yg lebih besar.. dan dengan kadar segera segala bende yg boleh di cut costnyer diorang implimentasi tanpa pikiaq btol2... dulu mase old management.. claim ok ajer... berebut org nak buat on call sebab carik duit lebih sket... new management sucks!!!!

I got myself a smart phone about 2 weeks ago.. and i guess it is true what they said " only smart people can use smart phones" hahahaha...  until now aku masih tak reti guna smart phone.. leceh btol... pakai tepon nokia jugak yg besh.... well... i guess it would takes some time to get use to it... plus kena lah campur org2 yg guna smart phone baru ler tau camner nak guna ye tak... kalo tak mmg tak berkembang ler otak... huhuhu... hajat nak pakai Apple ipood iphone tapi aku menyampah ngan Apple nie... camera sket nyer cekai... tak patut btol.. tak kena ngan harge dier yg super mahal... even the latest  iphone available here pun takde front camera for video call ? harge dah ler 2 ribu lebih... pikir sendiri la.. kalo duit mmg banyak lebih ok ler..  tapi kalo cukup2... tak payah ler...

Latest addiction skang nie??? latest FM game... FM2010 and online shopping... besh ler pulak browse barang2 kat blog and forum.. murah pun murah... kelabu la mater tgk mende2 yg dijual... kalau ler ade duit sumer aku nak.. tapi takde duit.. so tgk ajer la... hehehehe

The sentinels of revenge clad enemies.

Obligatory and disappointment

This is my supposedly new year entry... it is obligatory to do this... oh well not really but everyone is doing it... i guess since it is still January.. this could be counted as the new year post.... plus i only have 1 post for 2010 so far ...

looking back at 2009.... what have i accomplished?... nothing much really... still at the same job.. at the same company... at the same rank... and still hanging out at the same place i sued to frequent back in 2008... so in a simple way to put it... 2009 is..., well the same as 2008... nothing major... the only different from 2008 that i notice is that i actually travel out of my country... even if it is just Singapore... who cares... the last time i was in Singapore is when i was like 8 or 9 years old... that's 20 years ago...

 On my personal life... it is still the same... nothing major again there... now maybe in 2010 something major or at least half major will happen to me... ok how many new people i have met last years... quite a lot and hopefully the numbers double this year.. so my circle of friend will grow even bigger... how may movies i watched last year... maybe 1 or 2... at most 4.. can't really remember since i don't go to the cinema that often... well that is going to change this year... i can assure you that...

I don't think i went to any concert last year... and this year was supposed to start with bang since green day... my favorite band of all time is coming to Singapore.. but heck... my circle of friend is so small that i cant even find 1 friend to come and join me... well to be honest there was a few who was interested but other commitment make it hard for them to come and enjoy green day... now i would have gone alone if they were playing in KL... but my fear of traveling on my own is getting the best of me... damn how i wish i had the courage to just go at it all on my own.. but i just can't... still reeling from the disappointment... I'm sad about this.. that's for sure...

broken and shattered into pieces

"Sorry lah, I tak dapat join you lah. Ada kerja, tak bleh nak cuti... very2 sorry yer" (ayat standard kawan2 aku when bailing out on me...huhu )... dan dengan itu hancur lah harapan aku untuk pergi tengok Green Day live in Singapore... sungguh kecewa... my idols is coming here (well Singapore but it is close enough) and I cannot even find at least 1 person to go to Singapore with me... now that is just sad... Ingatkan dapat lah aku cancel one of the item in my bucket list... tapi aper kan daya... as much as i love green day (and i do love them alot ever since i was 14).. i just can't bring myself to go there alone... if only the concert is in KL... I dont mind going alone.. but Singapore?? alone ??? that is just sooo not me... adeh kaciwa sungguh.... i bet getting dumped felt a lot better than this... so sad.. so freaking sad i could smoke a pack of cigarette in a few hours time... huhuhu... if only i have money (lots and lots of it) ... I'd pay for my friends expenses... tapi aper kan daya... aku tak cukup kaya... so close but yet so far... I'm sorry billie joe... i'd kill to see you guys perform... but my fear of travelling alone is getting the better of me... plus it is no fun going to a concert alone...

I'm going to cancel my other  concert trip down south la macam nie.... it wouldn't be fair for me to go to the killers, Muse, Paramore or Boys like Girls when i can even bring myself to go and watch green day... hopefully silverchair and blink182 will eventually reach our shores in the near future (KL lah hopefully... traveling to Singapore still cost a bomb and i do not earn that much)... but frankly...  there is no substitute for green day... sure i love silverchair and blink 182... but i love green day more... please wake me up when january ends....

Song away

-- I think I like revival --

Make me a deal and make it good for me
I wont get full of myself, coz i cant afford to be
This is small town music, this is big town music
He's ahead of his time you know but, he cant use it
If only he could prove it

Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Its just a song away

Hey

See what your man has done to the world
see what the world has done to your man
You know im leaving you, you dont need me
Lovin you wasnt always so easy

This is believe me music, this is forget me music
This is who can love me you know, this aint no roxy music
This is new form music, this is old form music
This is i paid attention not some makes his prediction music
Oh he could let me use it

Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Its just a song away

Not wanting to write a truthful song over an eighties groove
I like to let you know I'll always be straight with you
I stole my personality from an anonymous source
And I'm gonna pay for it too, I dont feel bad about that
Give me my chance back

This is on the rise music, this i novelty music
This is who can blame music, I dont get fooled by it
This is where dyu go music, this is come home music
This is down to the wire I'm such a perfect angel music.
Who really tries

Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Its just a song away

This is success music and whats it to ya?
My lawyer always says these are the fact about the future well

Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away

Tomorrows just a song away, a song away, a song away
Its just a song away

the tale of being this close to the big three zero

So by tomorrow I will be 29... it will be another 1 year before that big 30 comes and take me to a whole new place... not really something I look forward to... I don't know what it is.. but 30 kinda scare the hell out of me...

A friend of mine once said that.. in life there are 3 stages... it started once you completed your education.. the first 10 years will be your "looking/searching" stage... it is where you look for what you wanted to do in life and how to get it... the second one will be the "do it" stage.. this is where you strife your best to get what you wanted in life and give it all you got to achieve it... the last one is the "enjoy your fruit of labour" stage... as the name suggested... this is when after all that have been said and done... you can relax and reaped the benefit of the work and effort you have put into your life...

My friend divide the stages into 10 years each... and he started at 20 when you are young and most of the time don't know what you really wanted in life... (how true...) So by using his method, this year is my last year to actually seek what I really wanted in life...

I guess I am still a blur when it comes to what I really wanted to do in life... all I know is... now at 28, I just cannot see myself working in an office environment anymore... this is not how I imagined my life would be... (at 17, I always thought that I will be working in some kind of engineering projects... but I guess being a student in a technical school push that image through my mind)...

When I was a kid back in my hometown and living the simple life... I always wanted to be a pilot... a space craft pilot to be exact (like I said to some people whom I have known for some time now... I am a sucker for everything outer space)... but that was a tad bit ridiculous... I know... kids have the widest range of imagination... so I scale it down a little once I'm a old enough to know how ridiculous my dreams are... so fighter pilot was my aim... back then MiG-29 was still in its prime... F-18 hornet is not far behind too... I would spent my day... day dreaming about flying across the open sky... doing some "out -of-this-world" maneuver... man, I would have died a happy man if that dream becomes a reality... too bad, when I reached 17... I had to wear glasses and that dream died with that...

Then I started to learn how to play football... and naturally that becomes my dream.. to play football for Liverpool... to grace the grass at Anfield, to score a winning goal for my favorite team and also to stand in front of the Kop End to hear the fans chanting my name... but since iIgot no skill whatsoever... that dream died after I last wore my school jersey (on which I found my favorite number... 11)... 4th place isn't that bad... but I only played 2 games (both being a 1 - 1 draw)

When I was 10 years old, I wanted to be a scientist, just like the great Einstein or Newton... but that dream was induced by a friend of mine who back then seems like "the man"... he knows everything about the scientific world that I just can't help but marvel at his knowledge... but then by 11, I had move to KL and that dream died with it...

Oddly enough, I had no dreams whatsoever when I first came to KL... a big city, with lights all along the town streets... mesmerized as I was (were?? my grammar is almost none existence).. no dreams comes out of it... such metropolitan city would have triggered my imagination wild... but I guess loosing my grandfather has put a dent on my imagination... but then again.. the growing up part also might play a role there...

So when I was 16, I went to a boarding school of some sort, trying to see if I can actually be away from my mother... it was hard at first.. being a mommy's boy doesn't help at all... but I managed to finally accept the new environment... heck, I had the best 2 years of my life there... and it is here where I first imagine myself in an office environment... kinda had too... everyone is now at an age where they feels the need that ambitions needs to be realistic... and being a pilot at that time was never a realistic target... so does professional footballer...

So after completing high school and goes through the hardship of trying to get into a university... here I am.. stuck in the rat race... in which there is no getting out of...

I wonder if I had chosen a different path... like instead of getting into this computer stuff, and go ahead with my initial engineer path..?? would I be better off? I guess no one knows...

Being this close to the big three zero might not be that uncomfortable if you already knows what you wanted out of this life... as for me,.. the search will go on and to know that the dateline is so freaking near is not very ideal... even though I might denied it... the pressure is getting to me... and it is making me nervous...

Life is a journey... and it is a journey to the end...