I wanted to write something nice and melancholy here but as it has been for the last few years.. i cant seems to come up with a decent idea... i am falling away... no longer able to do what i like... and i thought getting your heart broken will open the flood gate for ideas... silly me... i hate to write about my failing and disappointment here... i know it is my blog and i should be able to write what i wanted... but i don't know.. somehow opening up doesn't seems to feel right anymore... life is a mess... i cant cope with the rest... am falling behind... am lost and confused...
i don't think i can pretend anymore... you know.. saying that it is ok.. and we should continue being friends.. when the truth is... I'm still harboring a faint hope that one day it will all be alright... she would finally give me a chance... i know it is like hoping for a miracle... it will never happen and i should move on...
*i know what i should do, i know what she is going to say
but i cant help feel differently about you
i cant just walk away...
i just cant turn off my feeling...
I'm sorry but this is who i am...
now I'm drowning in my sorrow while trying to keep a smile on my face so she wont notice... but the thing about girls is... they always know if you like her or not... they always know if a guys like/love her even without the guy saying it..... i cant move on.. when my heart is so stubborn and wont let it go... i don't have a chance, i know... i know this from the first moment i meet her... and this is not the pessimistic side of me talking.. this is the reality... but she is so... hmm what's the word?... wonderful?? i cant seems to get enough... even if it hurts...
So tell me what do I need when the words lose their meaning.
You know, if I had a blog, this would be a really big day for me.
* - Jimmy eat world's kill.mp3
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