All i hope for now is for her to understand why things between us can never be the same as it was before. it is not that i dont want to remain friend.. i do.. but i cant just get on with the friendship and pretend nothing ever happen.. because something did happen. Her companinship was always the highlight of my day at the office... and i guess that is where these stupid feeling started to bloomed. It is killing me that now i cant even go and say "Hi" to her.
I wrote an email to apologize to her because i dont think i can face her to say it in person. Lame, i know. Today she finally read it and response... she said that it was ok and she would like to remain friend. She also forgave me... to which i am very thankful. I replied (not sure if i should.. but hey.. my heart is stronger than my brain).. and said that it is not that i dont want to be friend... but i am ashamed and embarrased of how things turn out to be... and from this i hope she understand why i've been avoiding her.... i could not look at her any differently... i still have feeling for her (i know i should have thrown it away the moment i knew she was taken)... i cant just get rid off it... that is not how it supposed to work...
hopefully everything will end well.... i'm going to let myself drown in my sorrow for the time being... there is nothing better than that now... hopefully i will emerge from it with a much better feeling than i have now...
being rejected still sucks.. no matter how many time you may have experience it.. it still feels like the first time...
damn~!
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