Did someone took a portion of your heart?

words vs wisdom

I need a change
sudden and deliberate
not planned or preconceived
taking a chance rather than making one
unfamiliarity does not breeds contempt

stereotyped and cliched words
anesthetized and deadened me
I don't want to be lonely, I just want to alone

tired will and on my knees
beaten and broken but surge I will
savage hunger to free one selves
there is a moment in time when everything freezes

just long enough for me forget you
just perfect enough to mend myself

I hate the distance
I feel so far from where I have been
knowing my ancient future is just a meagre existence
determine to change what have been seen
will there be someone waiting for me by the turnstiles?

I am inadequate
insufficient and scarce
not unique nor exclusive
some kind of infinite sadness
escalating pressure to free myself

here and now
there or never
stand still or die trying
failure and success

I want to change
broken and liberate
not given or received
a pain that I will never get used to
a blessing in disguise

Satu titik dalam masa!

Enjoy great life!!

My lame attempt to write in my own mother tongue...

yang amarah itu persis,
ibarat angin meniup ombak,
yang ku marah bukan optimis,
tapi harapan yang sering kecundang,

hilang arah tanpa tujuan,
nyah di kau wahai suara hati,
perspektif ku lari kini hanya khayalan,
pedih hati, buang persepsi diri,

bila masa berhenti,
bila kuasa tidak mengerti,

terbang lah terbang tinggi dinihari,
malam yang datang bukan ekspresi lagi,
aku, engkau dan gelap yang sepi,
dosa menjadi sahabat setia,

kau hanya bayangan bukan sandaran,
aku hanya habuk di tiup angin taufan,
kita hanya disini buat sedetik waktu,
bila tiba masanya kau pergi jua,

disana, disana,
kau menjadi titik noktah buat perjalanan ku
mungkin...

lain arah perjalanan,
destinasi nya tetap sama...
di hatiku...

It's like french kissing a dragon!!!

An abundance of Katherines!!!

Published in 2006, this novel has got tonnes of review out in cyberspace... so I wont waste time to review it because A). I am not good at reviewing things and B). my vocabulary is too limited to actually write a decent review that this novel deserved...

All I can say is... most guys (especially nerds and dudes who got dumped more than one really want to remember) will be able to related to the protagonist in the story... it is an awesome story.. a very simple and cliched storyline but told in an interesting way... the same old basic stuff... boy lose girl.. boy meet new girl...boy and girl falls for each other.. the end... familiar right?? yeah.. I thought so too.. the sub plot is what makes the story great... a word of caution though.... if you dig math back in school and this book would probably be even more great... me on the other hand, hated math... and true enough... all the math that we learn in school and college do not apply in our lives or even our work... but apart from the whole math theorem... the story was exceptional great (at least in my view)... the last part of the book was funny as hell... a good read... The last time I check there is 1 copy of this novel @ borders... have not managed to find it @ Kinokuniya... but then again it has been ages since I last went to Kinokuniya.... I got mine from Karl who is generous enough not to ask me for the money it took to get this book from the US to Malaysia... Amazon and E-bay sells it on the cheap dey! but the postage and delivery is very expensive... luckily for me Karl managed to find a way to get it here with lesser cost.. was supposed to pay him around RM20++ (real cheap compared to the price @ borders... and it's the hard cover version as well) for the novel... when he said "no need lah.. that's your birthday present".. so, thank you dude... I took my time reading this one as I wanted to enjoy it as much as I can... but the last 2 chapter was so very fascinating that I had to finished it last night... plus I was in a very good mood due to the whole perfect rain thingy that happened to me (refer previous post)... still living off it.. woo hoo... it probably dies off by the weekend but hentam je lah.. sementara boleh happy... just be happy la...

my perfect rain

"And the rain will kill us all.
We Throw ourselves against the wall.
But no-one else can see.
The preservation of the martyr in me."

phycosocial, from slipknot's latest album, "all hope is gone."

another thing to add to my list...
=======================================================

of the rain that was last night... probably the happiest i ever felt in a long time...
so happy that it still feel like it happened just now... oh well... nothing good last forever.. i am enjoying it while it last...

I can live off this for days dude!!! .... and that's very long in regards to happiness.. hahaha
i am blabbering again... well that's what happiness can do to you...

i am enjoying this... while it last....
thank you very much!!!

paradigm shift, my foot!!!

Oh obedient ones, oh deliberate ones
oh where oh where shall I hide thou?


-Through the looking glass-

Through this ignorant eyes
The world seems a little less complicated
Things were done in stop motion, waiting for parity
Through the looking glass, through the restless beating of the heart

Through this blackened lungs,
Years of addiction is now taking its toll
One small puff and no looking back, slowly itching its way
Shorten the experience, through the cancer infested heart

Through this time of despair
She smile of a story untold, glorified picture of yesteryear
Where the painter's name echo through the decades
Through her mesmerizing eyes, through her ever lasting smile

Through this ignorant eyes
Through this emotion sickness
Through this uneducated weary look
Through this wall of silence
You will see, you will notice
You will perish and soon you will be awaken
Time is of no essence
Only life...

*republished from echo far beyond the yonder

"how do i loathe thee?? let me count the way"

gutshot!

I am currently reading a book called "an abundance of Katherines"... it is about a dude who got dump by a girl named Katherine and he has been dumped by a katherine 18 time before that.. . so he is kinda dumbstruck by his failures with Katherine. There's lot of reviews about it on the net.. you guys can just google it if you are curious... I am about half way through it... and i gotta to say that it is a fairly interesting read so far... road trip, nerd, girls, math... (OK math does not really interest me)... in a way I kinda able to relate to the protagonist... being rejected sucks.. not mysteries there...

so anyway, while reading the book (in between reading really, you have to concentrate on what you are reading to actually understand it)... i wonder why i cant bring myself to finish reading Elizabeth Kostova's the historian... ?? it is a very good read really (dracula never seems to bore people right??? )... the constant traveling is a bit boring to me as i cannot imagine being where they are... the description is great and all but still... it is hard to imagine a medieval castle when you haven't been to one... there are less than a 100 page to go... and i have been stalling it for a year now... i cant remember the whole story by now... i guess i probably need to re-read it all over again... and it is a thick book by my standard... sigh...

Oh and Artemis Fowl latest book is in store (i think, haven't been checking out borders or kinokuniya for years really).. so if you are thinking of getting me a present.. please oh please get me this book --> Artemis Fowl : the time paradox.... hahahaha OK, no you don't have to... but you can if you want to... either or a double CD of green day's American Idiot and Dookie... not so sure if they still sells it @ tower record... but i remember holding it in my hand (and desperately wanted to steal it) at tower records a couple of years ago... there were the only green day albums that i do no owned (yet). Downloading cannot be considered the same as owning the original CDs... the satisfaction is different... the same as owning a triple A grade imitation watch and owning the real one... but I'm OK with imitations to a certain degree... especially when it involves very very expensive things...

- i could not remember loving you as much as i miss you right now -

Tagged again!

My Top 10 Most Favorite Foods :

1. Masak asam by my grandmother.. superb i tell you.
2. Roti canai in the morning... make my day huhuhu...
3. Ikan goreng sambal/ikan goreng kicap... by my mum...
4. Sambal ayam mak sayer
5. Spaghetti ala my mum.. spicy and i like it that way
6. My aunt's apam gula hangus... taste just right in my tougue.. haha.. heck my mum's pun tak leh buat camnie when it comes to baking.
7. Ikan bakar... lotsa place with good ikan bakar...
8. En. syah punyer barbeque lamb chop...
9. Double cheese burger @ mcD... lame, i know
10. Ice cream waffle...

Top 10 Things I Love Doing :

1. Loitering... no explanation needed.
2. Chase the cat... those little fur ball is a bundle of energy packed into a very small package... luckily i've just had 3 little kittens.. cant wait till they get naughtier.
3. Stand in the rain... as long as there is no thunder storm...
4. Writing useless and meaningless poems.
5. Reading
6. Walking.. to no particular destination.. just for the sake of it... the thought that plays in your mind when you let the feet do the navigation is awesome.. at least for me la...
7. Eat.. and i eat a lot.
8. Music. playing or listening to it...
9. Day dreaming
10. Photography.. still new at this... need to get myself a DLSR camera urgently... hahaha

5 Things I Love Doing When I'm EMO :

1. Smoking... lots of it
2. Write a bunch of poems.. stupid anger driven poems...
3. Watch stupid, slow and sometimes meaningless movie
4. Go out with the dudes
5. Sleep.

Top 5 Types of Guys I Adore :

5 Things I Love Doing When I'm Happy :

1. Smiles, sings, snores, sleeps and shouts

5 Things I Wish To Happen :

1. One thing only.. stumble upon a million dollar... then i can make most of the things i wish to happen, well happened (most of them la, not all...)

My Top 10 Most Addicted Song :

1. Time of your life - green day
2. Run - snow patrol
3. Even hitler has a girlfriend - mr T experience
4. hey there delilah - plain with t shirt
5. Love - butterfingers
6. aneurysm - nirvana
7. king nothing - metallica
8. fever - subculture
9. dont look back in anger / wonderwall - oasis
10. nookie - limp bizkit