The aftermath is secondary...

The party on the weekend was OK... would have loved for the turned out to by a bit more but it was OK for a small party... most of the attendees were my cousins and only a few friends turned up... maybe next time I'll bring some hot stripper then my friends would turn up in arms :) btu no families would be invited... hahahaha... now anyone know any good stripper... hahahaha 

And I need to learn on how to estimate the food situation... by 3pm the food were almost finished.. I ended up buying a bucket and a barrel of KFC just to accommodate the shortage.. the KFC then turned to be a tad bit too much since only about 4 more guests showed up after that... hahaha

I think the distance between now and the future is not that far... it is a matter of perception... I never one to plan ahead but the older I get... the harder it is to ignore planning... is it because I'm wiser now (highly unlikely since I still feel like an idiot) or is it because I'm no longer cavalier in my undertakings? I used to not worry about the aftermath... as long as I'm the only one who will suffer or benefited from it... it's full speed ahead... any forward motion counts... :)

I missed my cavalier self... free and careless... I missed making reckless decision, making impromptu plan... I had a lot of fun during those days... hell I even suffered from some of it... but it was all worth the trouble... I missed my youth.. now more so then ever... I hate growing old... always have... always will... you know what they say "growing up is optional, growing old is mandatory"... ah I missed all the misadventure of yesteryear.. the fun, the joy and the tears... Wouldn't change it for the world... it has made me who I am today... might not be the greatest human ever to walk the earth... might just be the greatest idiot ever to roamed the planet... I am still me... for better or worse :)

Better Living Industries: the aftermath is secondary

Now in my 30s

Just a little something I wrote for my 30th birthday last Wednesday... I am ancient :P

In the dead silent of the night
A lifetime of memories formed within myself

Are regurgitated, through the medium of sound

The deafening noise of the darkness that surrounds me
That bottomless place filled with rage and emptiness
I am alone with my thoughts

Falling through the never ending flashbacks
The rise and the falls, the greats and the doomed

Calling out my name,time and time again
Pushing me further to the point of no return
Spiraling away towards oblivion
I am in denial

Trying to remember the time when hope is plentiful
Replenish by the undying spirit to live on
A purpose, an aim for us to care about
And if you turned around, you'll see me
Pushing on, cheering for your glory
I can't walk away now

Can I be the only hope for you, because you're the only hope for me... ?

building a dillemma

Susah jugak hidup sendiri nie.. hari2 makan maggi... tak pun roti ngan kaya...giler babas tak sedap kalo dah hari2 melantak bende yang sama... bukannyer dapur takde.. tapi tak reti nak masak... oh and i dont have a fridge to keep all the meat/fishes/chicken... huhu... need to get one fast... then maybe boleh try my hands on cooking... goreng telur reti lah... at least something different kan... :)

I got my internet and astro all sorted out... so takde lah super bosan... I need a game console and then it'll be perfect... awatlah PS3 nie mahal sangat... XBOX pun mahal... Wii, game tak braper nak besh... huhu dillemma, dilemma... susah nyer nak buat rumah jadik the best man-child's pad... hahahaha

Maybe some reading stuff, some magazine with sexy ladies in it (oh luper plak, this one got already... thank you FHM) and some sci-fi books since I'm a freak for everything outer space... some robots... huhu banyak nyer belanjer...

" A treat for greedy eyes..."

Prom Nite!!!

... Was at Shangri-La over the weekend... helping a friend with the PA system and audio support the band performance... backbreaking work but it was worth the effort... I wish I could be on stage rocking it out... but I guess my time to be on the spotlight are over... those kids who were performing for their "before SPM so-call prom night" did good... they could have been better with a little more practice (not that I am any good)... I never had such thing... prom night that is... it is not a tradition here... plus I only went to a normal public school unlike these guys (all guys boarding school)... prom night is arranged (their alumni help with the financial need..super cool) and is part of their school tradition (minus the ladies)... our prom night is arrange between ourselves and I did not even bother to attend it (it was expensive... and I do not have that kind of money)

Nevertheless, some of the teacher there are HOTTTTTTT, I bet I would be a great student if my teacher were as hot... actually I did have a teacher that was hot... she taught me add math... for a few months... and from a hopeless student... I turned my results into an A... which is an achievement in itself (since I gave up on add math all together before my SPM).... but that teacher left and my results was back to F in no time... hahaha... but that is ancient history... you do need straight A's to be successful... hahaha OK that's a lie.... straight A's gets you places... straight B's get you places too but it takes a bit more time... :)

I guess being surrounded by school kids and teachers brings back some memories... a lot of those are good ones... I miss my high school days... sure I was not the clever kid or the coolest kid in school... all the nice and pretty girls are more attracted to jerks (what is that all about?? I guess jerks gets the best girl)... being the ordinary kid means you are less likely to get laid or have a date to prom... hell, even nerds gets the girl... I guess I'm just unlucky when it comes to the opposite sex... and it has been more than 10 years since I left school... my luck has not change at all... BUMMER!!!!!!!!

And I try to stay away from anything that connects me to my school, except my friends... a lot of awesome memories... but I hate those bullies... those kids who are screams and kicked you around only when you are in the school ground... outside of it they are just pretenders... what a bunch of idiots... I'd like to see where you are now....

enough of the bad experience... I'm going to drown myself in those sweet memories... and I still adore that girl I saw back in 1997... (she just got married recently)

" that girl got love like woe..."

Sally waited too long...

My thoughts have been wandering to the far reaches of my mind in the last few weeks... I know this is rather normal for me to wander off into those places... Although, usually not for a long period of time... but it is what it is... I'm beginning to understand some things and still at a lost for words on other things... I started to look for plans for my future... it is something I prefer not dabble about previously... I like to cross that bridge when I feel like I want to... future is yet to happen, worrying too much about it seems useless... or so I thought lah... but I cant hold it off anymore... something needs to be plan ahead... not all but some... and I guess the time is now to start to plan a bit... life is less interesting when it is planned but hey some risk are just not worth it.. :)

I'm moving out to live on my own starting today... the new place is still not complete but I guess it is good enough to live in... I need that refrigerator, that washing machine and I need to find a way to bring my bed to my new place... apart from that I think it is good enough... I slept there for a night last week... doesn't seems so scary... no ghouls, no bad dreams and no whispers... just that damn acid reflux (heartburn) that I experienced from time to time... must be something I ate...

Work has become too routine... though for the next 7 weeks, there will be a lot of changes done by the database team... the timing of the changes sucks big time... I had to stay back for hours just to help them... so instead of coming in early in the morning, I come in a bit late... hahaha 

I need some stimulation to get me going again... been sitting on my ass for far too long... maybe moving out of my mom's place would be the kick on the backside that I needed... horoscope, they are just taking a shot in the dark, though some of it seems to hit close to home... it is a matter of  interpretation... if you want it bad enough, you'll make sense of it all.... I choose not to believe all of it... just those that seems to have the right tone to it... the rest is just crap... utter nonsense written in a confusing way so that people can relate, even if it is just a shot in the dark...

Have a great week ahead people...

I still adore that white telecaster...